Bubble

This is what I got from frying hot dogs 2 days ago.

No. I did not touch the frying pan. I got burnt when I took the porcelain plate on the stove. Well, you see, the plate was placed really near the pan, and the heat kind of transmitted from the pan to the plate.

Of course, I was unaware of that. The moment I grabbed it, it burnt so badly.

And now, this scalded finger has a bulging bubble which I'm refraining it from bursting. Pain in the arse. Thank god its not my right hand.

No longer captivated

What are the chances of meeting friends who will always be there for you?

I'm blessed because I have met this bunch of friends in Uni who are sincere and caring.

Because of their encouragement & love, I have finally gotten out of 2 obstacles. =)

I'm smiling now. Their presence and heartfelt talks gave me hope & joy. I thank god for sending these great people to me.

2 Obstacles. It has been bothering me for half a year. I'm pretty sure that I'm getting healed now..

It's hard to reject and hurt people's feelings. And whenever I have to do that, my guilt multiplies rapidly. It does not feel nice. Yesterday night, I had the greatest turbulent of my life. I have never been like this. Never. I left the house and ran out to somewhere in the middle of the night because my guilt was insanely attacking me.

In order to not let my housemates worry, I told myself that I have to go to some place safe and just let out all my sorrows. I insisted on them not following. And i quickly ran out.

They were worried sick about me and had to search for me all around my housing estate. I had no intentions of creating a scene. I just wanted to be alone. That was how simple it was.

I felt even guiltier when I knew that they were searching about for me in the middle of the night.

There was this dark alley where i wanted to run to but apparently, something hit me and told me not to take on that path. Hence I detoured to the other alley. Some of the guys were driving and running around the neighbourhood looking out for me. And they told me that, if I took that wrong turn, I would have bumped into a bunch of rempits (malay guys), black guys and a man wearing a sarong.

I could feel the goosebumps. One of my friends said he prayed to god to lead him to where i was. And god actually showed him 2 places. I was actually at one of the places.

The entire scene was extremely dramatic. I couldn't help it. I have never ever felt that sad and guilty to a point of running out of the house. I screamed when they dragged me into the car. The guilt was hurting me so much.

They took me to a nearby park. I overreacted while they were comforting me. It took quite sometime for me to calm down, stop crying.. I couldn't comprehend my feelings either.

The rain's gone and I really do hope that this guilt wouldn't come back again. I believe it wouldn't.

The next thing that I'm set free from is something to do with my own heart. I used to demand. Used to hope. Used to risk. But now, I've realized.. No matter how hard I've tried. It never works. So, I have chosen to look at this in another way. I do not want to demand anymore. I want to let things flow naturally. I want to be happy and not cry anymore. I want to colour my own life and not hope for someone who might not turn up to colour it for me. It will only be jeopardizing my emotions. I will make my own plans. Plan my own fun. If he really turns out to be the one, he would be. If he doesn't I will not hold any grudges. But be happy for him. =)

I thank lord for sending his angels and I choose to move on.

Busy

It's exhausting and intensive. But I enjoy it.

Recently there is an important architecture event coming up. 4th Nov - 8th Nov. Organized by P.A.M (Pengajian Architecture Malaysia) aka Malaysian Architecture Association. 16 universities from KL will be required to present their respective booths at One U, Damansara.

It's a whole new challenge. And it matters to us because our performances would be noted by professional architects, professors, etc.

Starting from today (Sat) till next tues, we will be working on the booth, media, performances, etc from day till night. There will be 2 nights where we have to set up the booth (3 Nov, 10pm-2am) and dismantle it (8 Nov, 11pm-4am). Yes. Working through the night.

Will post up pictures of the event as soon as it is over!

He isn't here anymore.

I haven't been blogging for 16 days because laziness struck me. Plus, I have been busy with exams and assignments. The pile-up theory works again.

And today, I can't believe I will be starting off with an emo post.

T__________T

Things have been ironic.

What I don't long for comes, but what I have always wanted is a distance away from me.

I have been Thinking. Observing. Analyzing. Hoping. Longing. Missing. Loving.

Unfortunately, yesterday, I realized this...

'I'm after all Incapable, Illusionized & Insignificant In your world.'

I suppose.. He isn't there anymore..

What am I still waiting for?

Unhealed or Revengeful?

Yup. The picture says it all.

I have an ex who hates me at the moment. How gay. This is a sensitive topic because I believe he would know that I'm actually talking about him if he reads this. *Laughs*

Whatever to that anyways. It's not like he is reading my blog. *grins*

For some reasons, I just find this funny. I mean its been like what, 2 years since we broke up. And he still holds the grudges as he talks to me. Sigh. What's the point in that right?

2 years ago, he was madly in love with me and today, he hates me. I guess that's what happens to certain people when they are too in love in the past.

He denies. Yes, he is really good at that. I can even present him a cert for that. I tried talking to him last month and all I could sense were negative signals. Apparently, he couldn't be bothered to talk to me. So I tried to straighten things out with him. Obligated, he calmed down. But in the end, he still shoots me from the back. Sheesh, I should have ducked! :D

Just as I was looking through fb, i saw him posted something.

"If you could travel back in time, where and when would you go?"

He answered: "Brunei in 2006. Should focus on study!"

*Raises right eyebrow* Come on, being in a relationship is a mutual thing aights?

At the beginning of year 2006, I was with him. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Obviously he meant something else. And I actually 'liked' what he posted.

You know how things work right, if he says that, you should neither get annoyed nor pissed off but support his idea right? Man, I'm such a good ex. I better stop with the sarcasm...

He talked to me and told me not to be in a LDR. Guess what, he himself is in one. And I asked him this, 'Aint you in one yourself? :D' He replied, 'Yes I am. But I thought about it for a long time.'

Right...... Uh huh......

So you can imagine what my expression was.. *raises right eyebrow to 90 degrees* HAHA!!

My ex who hates me is damn contradicting and funny.

Don't get me wrong. I have no regrets about the past. Because, if it wasn't for the past, I wouldn't be so mentally matured till today. Sometimes you just have to go through life with loads of wrong turns in order to get to the right place. Only by knowing that those were wrong, you would know what's right. Too bad he doesn't think that way.

Undeniably, he is extremely brilliant and smart academically. No doubt. Unfortunately, he fails the social part. I just hope he would change the way he thinks. Else he wouldn't be able to survive or adapt to the society in future. Don't you think so? Ahh well. He is old enough to know all these.

Enough said about the ex boyfriend.

Here is a video I've watched on youtube quite a while ago. It's good. ;)

I'm so impressed with the dad. He compiled & modified 2 songs together and dedicated this to his 7 year old daughter. :') Very touching and impressive! Enjoy.

Because you know I would. You've won then.

Recently I have been busy with numerous things. It's annoying. When there isn't anything, there just isn't anything. And when something comes, the whole bunch just dumps into your life.

Well, I just had my Malaysian and Moral studies mid term tests. Yay. I don't have to worry about those 2 for now because, I could tackle the questions. Which means, I wouldn't fail.

The thing which worries me most is Bahasa Kebangsaan. Dang. I never paid attention in class back in Brunei when the teacher was teaching bahasa klasik. Now that I have to comment about that after erm.. *counts* 5 years, I think I'm just in the state of hopelessness. Not my fault, because back home, we were given the choice to either do Bahasa Klasik or Peribahasa. Obviously, I picked Peribahasa.

Anyways, I just have to nail it with the help of my friends. Non Bahasa Kebangsaan subject takers. Pfft. I have a presentation on that subject tomorrow afternoon. Joy.

Ok, moving on. I have gotten the Architecture Video done and over with. Big accomplishment between my friends and I. *Pops champagne*

Next thing we did was celebrate JP's 18th birthday for her.

We had candid shots that night.

Gotta work on Bukit Kepong now. Toodles.

Yesh I'm facing this and that.

I can't believe I'm so good at tolerating the absence of interent. Yes, I have been in this new house for the past one month plus. Without interent. How stupid can that be?

Anyways, Life has been tough recently due to certain issues domestically but.. I'm glad that everything is alright now. Yay.

As for classes, they are still as boring as ever.

I'm starting to cook at home now. Can save a lot of money and the food is alot heathier for the body.

Anyways, will update the blog another time. Bye.